The Broken Past...

Have you ever felt broken or alone? Yes, I feel broken and alone whenever I try to recall my past. It was a very dangerous way from which I have come to my future, not the future but I have overcome my past and it is a great achievement for me. Let us start the blog with some of your weaknesses. Comment below and share what is your biggest weakness? For me, my biggest weakness is overthinking and negative thinking too. This became my biggest enemy in my teenage. I will tell you how!

                Everything was going great and fine and then I entered the time of the teenage. (Teenage is just like an underground tunnel, first, we are in brightness, and then as we got inside we enter in more and more darkness and at last we come again in brightness. This is the same procedure in negative thinking but the difference is that when you are in darkness you will not able to handle your right brain because you will be fully dependent on your negative brain.) I thought it would only consist of some thunders in the brain but as I went deeper and deeper, suddenly I forgot where I came from. It was all dark and I do not know where I was. No lights I could see, I could do just one thing that was thinking about the past. Every day is a new opportunity but I woke up with that old and negative thinking. People say that we live every day but I was dying. Everything was broken up and nothing was left. The reason for living was also broken. I could not find any way to come out.

                Almost everything was broken; I could see just the pieces of my life. I was at that stage of my life where I could not understand where to start collecting the pieces to join them. I would say everything was sudden, you will not get the time to understand what is happening and after you will not have enough power to stand up straight and to prove what is happening with you. There will be a fear of doing any work again and that fear will ruin your life. I would say you could keep all the fears to one side and this one to another side. I have not experienced fear too close in my life. I remember it was the month of July 2018. The hard days started and I was not prepared and everything finished. This was how it started and day by day the negativity increased and it did not have a limit and mind became the home of negativity, it looked like a virus was injected into my brain. My brain was not listening to me anymore and every day looked like I was surviving and one day I will end! Only this thought rises into my mind that I will END! Moreover, this made my brain be more attentive to this random thought. I understood how hard times look like: when your mind is not in control and you have nothing to do, just surviving every day. However, as we know after the darkness there will be one day when the sun will shine bright and the darkness will be over. The same happened to me. Let us see how.

                My teachers, my friends and of course Google had helped me a lot to rise up. My friends gave me the motivation that "negativity always helps us to rise up”; my teachers threw some light on the negative and positive parts of the brain. However, this was not helpful for many days and after a few days, my mind thought these are useless thoughts and I should not keep it in my mind. In addition, this surprised me a lot that now my mind is creating its own orders, it looks sarcastic but if you experience it, it is not that sarcastic. So now, how could I overcome it? Now my favorite search engine helped me “GOOGLE”. Yes, Google was that help which was always with me and I could see any of the answers to a random or a permanent thought. However, as usual, one day, two days or five days and after two to three weeks, Google was also going blurred and more blurred. Now I was all alone. What to do? I did not know. Can killing yourself help, yes actually, this silly thought also arrived in my brain but this time I paid no attention to it. When I was in this time I wrote a blog on "how to react on negativity?" which also helped me, now my own writings started helping me and after 1.5 years, my mind came into my control. Now it was actually listening to me without making any silly decisions, it was a proud moment for me. In addition, that real smile came into my face. It was as if I have climbed the mountain and came to the top where I could see the world. Now the time for the development starts and day by day I started explaining things to my mind so that there are no silly or negative thoughts in my mind and if there were then I would have a response to them. Now you can see me writing a blog with my entire mind into my control. Now I love one quote, which is “Good things take time!” I have waited for about 2 years!

                   Hey guys, how was the blog? Can I get some comments? This blog was my own experience, I know how much I have suffered, and not only me, everyone suffers from over thing and negativity. We all have our enemies and I had one, which you have read in the blog. I would say that whenever you feel like your mind is going out of control, you could sit silently and just concentrate on our breathing. If this does not work then you should go outdoors, or go to parks to do some of the meditations, yoga or to do just jogging. This would help your brain to concentrate on your health and physical activities and not on negativity. If you feel like this will be permanent in your life then always remember that nothing is permanent in your life. Thank you for giving your precious time to read my blog!